Castiel X Nathaniel Paradox
by MemphisMayfireManiac
Summary: Nat and Castiel were bi-polar opposites. They despised each other or did they really? Long, ago the two had been best friends until, one day or rather one girl changed everything. Castiel determinedly held onto his resentment for him for it was all he had left of her.


The day began like any other, the school bell sounded. Castiel remained stationary in his courtyard. He took a long drag of his cigarette. How he detested mandatory things like attending school and going to class day in and out. Just to listen to some bitch or bastard drone on and on about useless nonsense. That he could care less about. The very thought of this made his head throb.

He sighed as he inhaled yet another puff of the cigarette. His mind started to wander due to sheer boredom. At the moment, he stuck his hand in his jacket pocket absentmindely. He discovered that once again he'd left his damn keys at home.

_Of course, I did. I let out a sigh of pure annoyance. I'm as forgetful as Lysander. So much for an easy way out._

"Fuck!" The curse rolled of my lips.

Now, He'd have to stroll on over to the student's president's office in order to get a late pass. Worst, of all He'd have to deal with the goody- goody student principal. Seeing Nathaniel was like having all the blood drained out of his body. It would cause him to literally shake with anger. To say that that he loathed Nathaniel just wasn't enough. He detested Nathaniel with every bone in his body.

Castiel's blood would boil. Steam practically blew out his ears. He just knew that Nathaniel's eyes were sure to glaze over at him. Annoyance would flicker through his eyes.

_If only they didn't otherwise, his eyes glowed as bright as beacons. He'd smile cutely and his eyes would shine. Next, his bangs would all fall almost covering his eye. In, the most adorable way. His clothes clung to his skin ever so perfectly._

Just, then a burning sensation grazed my skin dragging me away from my daydream. I leapt back a foot.

"Ow! Shit!" I muttered to myself

I glanced down at my finger to see what damage had been done. I had burnt the tip of my finger. I guess that's what I get.

My cheeks felt warm. Surely, enough a bright red had arose on them. It was all because, of him. I stomped out my cigarette and kicked it aside.

_There is no escaping this is there? I mostly asked myself. I desperately wished for a way to avoid Nathaniel. For a moment, I pondered my options well, I could sit at home all day but, that would suck majorly. Calling a locksmith just sounded stupid in general. The only spare key remained at Lysander's. I have no choice._

So, I headed onto Nathaniel's office. He was only in charge of

the late passes due to budget cuts. Personally, I'd like to put him in charge of cleaning the bathrooms. At, least I don't have to deal with our physco principal. Nathaniel was only slightly better than her.

As, I reached for the doorknob , Nathaniel opened the door. I jumped back in suprise. My heart raced wildely.

"Ah, Castiel you caught me just in time. I suppose you need a late pass."

"No, I just came to chat." I scoffed at him._ No, I actually just came here to see your pretty face._

"Do, you always have to be such a smart ass?"

"Do, you even have to ask?" a smirk fell upon my lips

Nathaniel scowled and shook his head. As, if to say this isn't worth my time. He turned around and stood over his , dropped his books carelessly and here I thought he loved were almost enough books there to hide his face.

He was dressed in his usual attire, a white button-up shirt with his usual light blue tie and his brown dress pants. Paired with black dress shoes. In my opinion, his always dressed for church on the other hand , I tend to dress as If I'm attending a funeral but, my point is still valid nevertheless.

He searched for the slips. Frustation fumed in his chest. I'd seen that look in his eyes a million times.

"I just had them. Give me a minute!" He said in a snippy tone.

"Its fine." _A lump formed in my throat. Why , must you be so enchanting?_

"I'm suprised you didn't ditch."

"Lucky for you, I forgot my keys."

"How'd you lock your door then?"

"Its an automatic lock smart one." I rolled my eyes.

"Ah, here we are!" He exclaimed. "Now , I just need a pen."

I crossed my arms " Try, your shirt." I remarked. I couldn't help but, roll my eyes.

Nathaniel slipping up now that was rare. He was usually on top of everything. Taking It all in stride even when, I lashed out at him.

"Ah, o-o-of course." He smiled nervously, a faint blush graced his cheeks.

He wrote me a pass. As, I grabbed for It, he saw my burnt finger.

"What, happened to your finger?"

"I accidently burnt myself."

"How? Oh wait, nevermind I can smell the smoke on you." His face twisted in disgust at the stench.

He added "On, school grounds again?" The look he gave me seemed to say Really, Castiel?

"Yeah." I smirked at him

"Were you daydreaming?"

"Something like that." I blushed. As, I briefly flashed back to my daydream. _Why did he out of all people make my heart pound?_

Just, then the door swung open and Lysander walked in.

"Hi, Castiel."

"Hey."

"Hi, Nathaniel ,I'm running a little late today."

"Castiel, Castiel are you dragging down Lysander with you?" Nathaniel taunted me. He smiled mischievously. _That... That arrognant bastard! _

Lysander's face reddened. _Jealousy coursed through my veins. What in the hell is going on here?!_

"What?...no." I turned scarlet involuntarily. _I swear he did it on purpose. Who does he think he is!_

He wrote Lysander a note while, wearing a warm smile.

"Its quite alright Lysander." He handed him the pass

_This was madness. I felt insanely jealously and ready to explode. Why his being so nice to Lysander? Nathaniel is such a prick! Why do I even care?_

"So, if Lysander needs a pass Its all honky dory but, If I need one you give me shit!" I growled

"Castiel..." Lysander began. He grabbed me and dragged me out the door before, I could screw things up further. Which, was for the best.

"Lysander, I wasn't finished." I snarled

"Why, are you so mad?" He asked, confused by my actions.

"Because, Nathaniel's a prick!"

"He was only teasing you know."

"I don't see why your friends with him!" I shot back at him.

" I wish you two would get along." He sighed

"So, do I." I turned redder. Curse this tongue of mine.

"I thought you hated him?"

I couldn't speak. My mouth refused to form words.

"What Is it? Is something wrong?"

"So, anyways do you by chance have my spare key with you." _Maybe He'll forget and I'll get out of this._

"No, Its at home ,don't change the subject!"

"I...I can't say it."

"Well, if you wanna spend time with him you could ask him to help you study."

"That's not a bad idea. There is one problem with It though why would he do anything for me?"

" He will, If you ask him nicely."

"Ugh, I knew there was a catch. I'll come over after school to get my key."

" Okay, good luck with Nathaniel." He teased me with a small smile on his lips.

"Shut up Lysander!" I ruffled his hair and spun around to leave.

"Hey, that's not cool!"

" You started It!"

/

I waltzed into the classroom. I handed my teacher my late slip. Then, I took my seat. Shortly, after I arrived. Nathaniel entered the room and sat beside me. Seeing as It was the only available seat._ Damn, my luck._

"I'm sorry about earlier."

"I don't wanna hear it." Good going Castiel.

"What, did I even do?"

_I tried my best to force myself to just simply say forget It but, It just wasn't in my nature. Holding my tongue, just wasn't me. I'm blunt and to the point. _

" You know damn well ,what you did!" I scoffed

"Forget It." He whipped his head away in a sharp motion.

_Guilt swept through me. Sweat dripped down my chest. Then, top It off my concious tugged at me. My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. Next thing, words flowed out my mouth against my will. Desire overtook my senses._

"Nathaniel."

"Ughh... What?!" His eyes pierced into mine. I saw agitation threatening to slip out of him.

"Pissy. Uh, well I was wondering If you would be willing to help me in math. Please, I'd only need a few study sessions." 

_To me ,please has always been a desperate word. When, was the last time I even said please. I couldn't recall. If he doesn't cave then, I might just lose It. This is so demeaning. Like, he'll really help me. Lysander was dead wrong. I have never felt so humilated In all of my life infact, I felt mortified. I struggled due to a sudden wave of intense nausea._

_I fought to keep a blush down. To do so, I was forced to ironically bite my tongue. It was like surpressing a scream. You know you need to let It out and just scream. But, the time you do your screaming as If your a mad man. _

He thought on It. Weighing the negatives and the positives. Also, the fact that Nathaniel felt flattered by Castiel's request because, Castiel seemed like he cared about school and his bad boy exterior chipped away. Noone was forcing Castiel to come to Nathaniel. Also, Castiel did say please. So, perhaps the arrangement could work.

Then, he answered " Well...only If you promise to show me respect."

"Fine, Is that all? I promise. So, are you free tommorrow?" _That's a high price but, I'll take it. I inwardly grinned. Nathaniel had agreed and I didn't even have to black mail him._

"Yes."

"Alright, I'll meet you in the courtyard after school can study at my place."

"Just, remember to bring your keys." He grinned

"Oh, shut up!" I glared at him.

He chuckled.

"Nathaniel, I suppose your conversation is more important then, My lesson. Have you been paying attention?" The old broad asked him.

"Well, I can't tell a lie. Not exactly, . I'm actually ahead in my work by a few lessons."_ I was in disbelief ,how did he do that?_

"Thank you, for not lying. I admire your honesty. Now , Castiel have you been listening?"

"Well, teach. I've been looking at you this whole time. Are those new shoes? I really like those colors on you. Have you done something new with your hair?" I smirked

"Yes, I got them on sale. Why, thank you. Yes, I got it cut recently and I got highlights." She smiled and flipped her hair.

"How, did you do that?" Nathaniel asked me.

"I charmed her. People like compliments and I think she might have A.D.D."

"That's not nice." He laughed into his hands.

"Why, are you laughing then?" I grinned

"Since, when are you charming?"

"You know Its true." I winked at him

" Please, you charming?" He gave an unconvincing laugh as if he'd just said something funny.

"Your just jealous."

He chuckled and shook his head. Our conversation came to a halt.

/

_Phew It was over and he had said yes. Maybe, this won't be so bad. I'm kind of looking forward to having him around. Yes, I'm also dreading It but, don't get me wrong I'm excited. Even now, Anxiety is still shooting through me. I've got to keep it together._

_In Just 24 hours, I'd be alone with Nathaniel. We might even study in my bedroom. I pictured Nathaniel laying on my bed. Then, he was sprawled across my bed. My heart knocked at my ribs. My eyes begged for more and so did another, lower region._

_The bell rang bringing my lust to an abrupt end. The air felt so far away. It was as if the room was moving which, wasn't logical. Nathaniel spot was now empty. No, this is just another dream._

_**I started to remember how hot, angry tears had somehow transformed into powerful feelings that took ahold of me today. One's that, I could just barely keep inside. **_

_It had been raining all day I had detention and by the time I had to leave. The rain was coming down hard. Nathaniel had been waiting for me suprisingly just because, of who he is. Naturally, I refused his offer to share an umbrella. This umbrella had Amber written all over It. He looked rather adorable holding the bright pink parasol. He didn't accept my answer and took me by the wrist. Then, pulled me out the door with him. He held the umbrella over our heads. More so mine than, his. The rain didn't bother him a bit. We even managed to enjoy each others company and make polite conversation. We had to stand rather close to each other. I must have looked pretty funny with such a girly umbrella dangling over my head. Once, we got to my apartment. We both said goodbye. _

_When, _  
_the wind picked up and the rain ran sideways. The wind tried to take Amber's umbrella. So, I gripped onto the handle tightly. My hand overlapped with his. For a bit, my hand just stayed there wrapped around his. I, then gazed into his eyes and entertwined my hand with his. He stared at me with the intensity of a thousands suns. I stammered " I, I was just making sure the... er umbrella didn't fly away. I thought their was going to be a second wind. I don't think the princess would be too pleased if something happened to her umbrella. Am i right?" "Yeah, I'm already dead because, Amber uses this umbrella for her quote on quote fair skin. Can you believe that? Well, I'd best be on my way then. This was nice." He gave my hand a light squeeze then pushed me into the rain if you can believe that . I screamed after him "You ass." "Come, on live a little!" I stuck my tongue out at him._

_Nathaniel loosened up that one day. Then, he reverted back to avoiding me probably because, of some religious crap. I keep hoping he'll see the light. Doesn't he know that lying doesn't solve anything? He always preaching about being honest yet, his not honest with himself. His confused like I was. I know the truth and maybe one of these days I'll acknowledge it._

/

After school, I went over to Lysander's and knocked on his door.

Lysander answered the door " You seem to be in high spirits. I'm guessing by the look on your face that he said yes."

"Right you are. It'll be just the two of us at my house tommorrow...I'm scared." I flashed him a smile then, I cringed inwardly.

"Why... wait a minute, do you like him?"

"I-I don't man. Don't say it outloud." My ears flushed beet red. I put my hand over his mouth.

He moved my hand away. He crossed his arms.

"Well, do you?" He inquired, his voice was just above a whisper. He raised an eybrow at me questioningly.

"Maybe...Okay, yes. What difference does It make?!" _Agitation knawed at me. Can't he just shut It for once?_

"It just does Castiel. Don't you get hissy with me! I think its brave that you admitted to It."

"Yeah, I'm so fucking noble. Like, he'd ever care. So, what If I like him?!"

"Alright, I'll drop It for now... Here's your key."

"Thanks, don't tell him that we had this talk."

"I give you my word that I won't." _Lysander crossed his fingers behind his back with a heavy heart paired with good intentions at what cost though. Castiel did trust him, what if he found out? No, they'd be friends until the bitter end._

"I'll give you, your key back tommorrow at school."

He nodded. I turned and left without looking back.

/

On, my way home I bumped into someone. I wasn't paying attention and the next thing I knew my head ached. Books laid scattered all over the ground. Who has this many books? Nathaniel. I checked and of course I was dead on. He had a hand over his head.

"You have too many books. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

I extended my hand. He grabbed It and I helped him get to his feet. My heart fluttered at his touch.

"Its, just a scrap really." He shrugged It off

" How much further, do you have to go?"

"Just to the corner." He pointed to his house.

"I'll help you carry your books."

"You don't have to do that."

"I insist." I took a stackful of books not giving him a choice. Nathaniel did the same, and followed me. He must have needed help after in the hell did he cross the street?

Once, we got to his house Amber was waiting for him on the porch.

"Hey, Amber, do you wanna be a doll and carry these in for me and I'll get the door for you." I winked at her and flashed her a broad grin.

"Okay." She agreed eagerly and she returned my grin.

Nathaniel stared me down. I shrugged my shoulder. I offered to hold the door for her and she wanted to do It.

I opened the front door. As, I did Nathaniel's father stepped forward, he had grey hair and Amber's eyes. He wore a suit and tie as expected. His face looked stern. The way he just stood there unnerved me to no end.

He crossed his arms "Who is this, Nathaniel?"

"Just, a friend." Nathaniel answered him hastily. His voice indicated no fear.

_A friend, I caught myself smiling. I think Nathaniel's dad is prejudice against gays. Maybe, he doesn't like my appearance. Like, I give a shit._

Nathaniel's dad disappeared without a word. Which, was more than fine by me. His a real piece of work.

I held open the door.

As, Amber passed she tried to walk seductively. I held back my laughter. She flipped her hair and gave me a flirtatious wink. Silly, girl. She set down the books with a sigh. She twirled her hair and bit her lip in an attempt to seduce me again. I'm not exactly interested. She blushed and ran off into the nearest room wihout so much as a word.

Then, as Nathaniel moved by me. I stared at his ass. I bit down on my bottom lip. His body was very tempting to me. It titillated my senses in a most wonderous way.

He dropped his books with a thud

and came over to me.

"Thanks for helping me." He smiled

"You're welcome. So, I'll see you tommorrow." He put a finger to my lips. Which, I found to be rather seductive.

"Shush, not so loud my dad has the hearing of a hawk. If, he knew who you were, I don't think he'd be too keen on me seeing on you." His voice dropped to a whisper, to add too that he winked at me. That scoundrel. I swooned.

I winked back at him effortlessly and I gave him a grin.

"Is, that why you tend to avoid me?"

"Partially." He eyed the floor as If he felt guilty. I choose to ignore It.

"You're not half bad, you know that." I winked at him while wearing a smirk on my lips

"Shut up." His face burned red. _ How precious._

"No, I mean It." I stepped closer too him without meaning to.

"Castiel, I'd like some personal space now."

"Huh? Oh...uh, whoops." My cheeks glowed pink. "Sorry."

"You, said sorry that's new."

"Its nothing." My voice turned cold and I bolted out of there.

I still felt over the moon about, how things had gone so well. I skipped home, once I was out of sight.

Maybe, we had a shot at being more than just friends. I smiled at the thought. Then, I wondered why did Nathaniel call me his friend? Did he mean It? An, when he silenced me I felt something between us and why did he blush? Is it possible that he could feel the same way about me? Even, with his upbringing or maybe his confused like me.

Either way, I'll take him. The best thing to do is to take things slow. Since, I'm still figuring out my feelings for him.

/

Nathaniel laid across his bed. His sister swung open the door and shut it ever so quietly. She even went as far as to lock it. Nathaniel wondered why she had done such a thing.

"Amber, why'd you come in unannounced and lock my door?" I snapped at her mainly due to Castiel. He unnerved me and then, his voice changed. Did I offend him? What did I care?

She played dumb with a playful amount of sarcaism in her tone "Whatever do you mean? So you wanna talk about Castiel? Why was he carrying your books? I thought he could less about you?" Her face light up and a grin crept onto her face. It was a bit unsettling.

"Well, he bumped into me and persisted on carrying my books for me. I don't know why."

"His sweet." She said with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Amber, no offense but, how can you even say that, he treats you like crap."

"...Yeah, you're right he does but, I can't help hoping that I'll catch his eye." Her words sounded pitiful. Her eyes dimmed as if she might cry.

"I'm sorry."

"His dreamy, and he has his moments. I know its a stupid crush."_ I thought to myself you said it. I feel your pain._

"Why, do you even like him?" I asked her with mild curiousity.

"Hmm... huh, that's a tough question. I think its because, his everything dad hates."

"And here I thought you were daddy's little angel."

She giggled at my remark. "So, are you and Castiel friends again?"

"I think so, its looking that way."

"Doesn't he hate you because, of the she-witch."

"Yeah, I did I think his over that now. Maybe, I'll be able to clear things up with any luck."

She nodded and put on her innocent face. The one she wears when, she's clearly done something wrong. I knew what she would say before she even spoke.

"Natty, don't get mad but, I listened in on your conversation..What's going on between you and Castiel?"

"Nothing of your concern!" I raised my voice. It was a private conversation after all.

"Natty..." She gave me her famous puppy dog eyes paired with a frown.

"I'm just helping him with math, that's all." My voice came across annoyed.

"He cares about school ew, what have you done to him! I don't want him anymore."

She sounded melodramatic yet serious. Huh?

I snorted at her statement and the stupid look on her face.

"Nat, seriously..." she paused and stared at me with intensity "I think he was hitting on you."

She didn't say just kidding and there wasn't even a hint of

sarcasm in her tone.

"You're nuts."

"I don't think daddy would be too happy , if he knew you were friends with

Castiel." She teased. _What no blackmail? Who are you and what'd you with my sister?_

" I don't think he'd be too pleased if you dated Castiel."

She snickered " I'm serious, I don't want Castiel. I deserve better. I never really wanted . I just liked the idea of him."

"You sound sensible for once. If, you wanna be with someone. You definitely need to know them well and like them beforehand."

There was a short pause.

"Don't take,

offense to this but, I think you were flirting with Castiel. If, you're into guys, I don't care, I promise I won't tell a soul. I won't scare him off.I...I'm." Her voice cracked and tears trickled down her face. "I'm sorry I threatened Melody. I just didn't think father would approve and I was trying to protect you in my own way. I-I knew It was wrong. I'm such a bitch. You must hate me." Here tears were real and they kept spilling out. Her apology was genuine.

I pulled her close and held her tight.

" You shouldn't say that about yourself. Your my little sister. I love you. Your not a bitch, just a hormonal girl." I kissed her forehead and a warm smile graced my lips.

My voice fell to a whisper. The kind you strain you ear to hear. "I don't know. I think I'm interested. Don't laugh." I desperately wanted to crawl in a hole. My cheeks grew hot.

"I think its cute. He'll wait for you. Just give him a chance and fuck what dad thinks. You and I both know its bullshit. Don't let him brainwash with his propaganda!" Her smiled this moment despite her sniffling and her bright red, blotchy face. She looked truly beautiful to me. There is still hope for her.

I thought I'd lost her for good. I feared she might forget me altogether. She was caught up in nonsense. This, IS the Amber I know. I had nearly forgotten her beauty and her charm.

"Thanks for that Amber. i know It is but, It gets too me every now and again. You really don't care if I like guys?"

"Not a bit, you're still the same old Nathaniel, I know and love." She beamed.

"Glad to have you back Amber. I thought I'd lost you."

"Its good to be back." She stuck her tongue out at me.

"The other you was a real bitch." I joked.

"I'm sorry for being a pain in the ass."

"All Is forgiven, I'm sorry for being a jerk-off back when we were younger."

"I'm sorry for holding it over your head for so long. I'm sorry for all the shit dad gives you. I know, you think I have it easy but, I don't. Its hard on me too. We just have to not break."

"You're right, we'll make it through this together. Screw it, I like Castiel!"

"Aw, good." She smiled giddily.

"Thanks, for listening and being supportive." I smiled at her.

"Back at 'ya. I'm going to be the Amber you knew. I've missed her too."

I gave her a warm smile. "Will, you stop hanging out with the plastics and chattering on about nonsense."

"I was tiring of It anyway. Natty, I need to take you shopping. You look so proper all the time. You should really loosen up once in awhile."

"I suppose, you're right."

"I'm right, I'm right and you're wrong!" She did a victory dance.

"You're, odd sister." I shook my head.

"Nat, wait a minute." She grinned excitedly.

She darted out the door and returned with an outfit in hand.

"Rosalaya made this for you. I forgot all about it!" She beamed and looked as if she was to start jumping up and down.

_The shirt was striped black and blue. Weirdly enough the fabric seemed to shimmer. There was a black, button-up vest with silver buttons. To match, a black pair of skinny jeans and black high-tops._

"I haven't worn this yet. I forgot it existed."

"Wear it tommorrow!" She said animatedly.

"I don't know." I felt skeptical because, I don't want Castiel to make me feel weird again. Even, if its inevitable.

"I bet Castiel will like it." She grinned mischieveously.

My face brightened at the very mention of her idea. My heart skipped a beat as well.

She giggled "That's adorable." She skipped off with a smile on her face.

/

The next day.

Castiel stood by the rows of lockers. He'd been daydreaming about Nathaniel. When, he spotted long, golden hair.

That belonged to none other than Amber except, her hair laid flat for once. Her mane no longer resembled a poodle's. He noted that it looked dramatically shorter as well. Also, her face seemed brighter. There wasn't a trace of makeup on her face. She also didn't reek of perfume.

She appeared to be alone and not in the process of stalking me. Which, was very un-Amber like. There was no sign of her clones either. There were visible headphones in her ears. To my astonishment they were black. How, odd. Why weren't they pink? Who are you and what'd you do with Amber?

The next, noteably strange thing about her had to be her clothes. They were so controversial to the true Amber. She wore a black Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt, the band's name was written in a deep, blood red color and the letters looked as if they were bleeding. Her jeans were ripped, black skinny-jeans that hung on her just right. On, her feet she wore black boots.

Then, I heard her singing along to an Avenged Sevenfold song. Her music was audible so, I could tell that she was a few seconds early. She knew the words. I felt like someone had taken over Amber's body. I wanted to shake her just too see if she'd revert to her normal ways. Maybe, she fell on her head and now she has amnesia.

_This was very unusual. Something seemed very out of place here. Then, she took me by suprise yet again by simply smiling. I felt disturbed by her smile. Amber looked happy but, why? This seemed worth investigating. Whenever, she's happy she always has an alternative motive. It had better not have anything to do with me._

_In this moment Amber was almost attractive. She was like an Anti-Deborah._

"Amber, yoo-hoo." I waved my hand infront of her face. _Her happiness annoyed me to no end._

She removed a headphone and just stood there for a second. It was highly infuriating.

"Take out the other one!" I hissed at her.

She placed her headphones around her neck.

"Geez, what's got your panties in a twist?"

"Is, this some kind of joke?"

"No, I'd rather be a loner than a bitch. I ditched my sidekicks. I want to redeem myself."

"You do?" I crossed my arms in disbelief. My anger strengthened.

"Why, do you seem happy?" I asked her.

"I just am. I feel enlightened, I have a new perspective. My life counts, I matter."

"Wow, you actually sound intelligent for a change. Say, did you cut you hair?"

"Yes, I did it myself this morning." Her voice came across cheerful which, I thought

to be refreshing. She smiled as if she knew a dark secret. I found her smile to be rather disturbing. I sensed that she was hiding something from me.

"You're scaring me. Have you been telling people that I'm your boyfriend again?"

"No!" Her tone was harsh and she even made a face at my suggestion.

"I know that you know something!" My voice rose and so did my blood pressure. I inched closer to her. Maybe, I can intimidate her. If, I know one thing about Amber its that she's weak.

"I don't know anything you're being paranoid. What are you high?" She scoffed at me.

Then, shot a final remark at me " I don't think your boyfriend would be too happy about you being this close to me." _Ah, blackmail know that's more Amber's style. I know you were still in there. You can't fool me._

_Her statement made my body shut down. Shock poured through me. Nailing me to the floor. The nerve of her. My cheeks burned red automatically. I had no power over It. She wouldn't get away with that. Noone blackmails me bitch! Knowing her she'd run her mouth. Rage told me to scream at her until, I was red in the face. It was what she deserved. Instead, I took a deep breath._

_I then stepped back into reality. I saw fear dancing in her eyes. Her body was shaking. She looked remorseful but, I didn't exactly feel in a forgiving mood. Her appearance was but, a disguise she was still as snarky as ever and I wouldn't have it._

I got in her face "Do, you mean what I think you mean?"

"I don't know what your talking about. I didn't say anything."

She tried to avoid my question but, I would make her give me a solid answer.

She ducked to slip away and run off. I gripped onto her wrist.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"Uhm... It means whatever you want it to mean!" Her voice trembled.

"Okay." I smirked and released her.

She escaped just, as Nathaniel entered the hallway.

"What, was all that commotion?"

"Nothing, I just had a word with your sister."

He looked eyes seemed to sparkle. His clothes were rather tight which, I found to be pleasing. I'd never seem him wear anything other than, a suit and tie.

"What about?" He raised an eyebrow at me suscipiously.

"I just thought she looked weird and I wondered where her sidekicks were. She was happy. So, naturally I suspected that she was up to no good...Say I like your outfit. Where, did you get it?"

"Oh, thanks. Rosalaya made it for me."

"Cool. Not to be weird but, uh It looks good on you." _Smooth Castiel, real smooth. Oh god. My heart is going crazy._

"Thanks. That's not weird." He smirked at me as if he were up to no good. Like, sister like brother. Something's going on here and I need to get to the bottom of it.

"You know your sister gave me that same look. What are you hiding from me? She knows something and so do you!" I exploded.

"I don't know what you mean. Why are you so angry?"

"Don't you bullshit me!"

"Castiel!"

"She said that I was paranoid and asked me If I was high. Then, she said I don't think your boyfriend would be to happy about you being this close to me. Then, she ran off. What do you think she meant by that?" I crossed my arms. I wanted an answer. I would accept anything less. Annoyance pumped through me. I scowled.

"I'm pretty sure she was being sarcastic why, were so close to her anyways?"

"I wanted a fucking answer and I got one. I think she was referring to you."

"She was just teasing you. I guess you don't like how it feels." He shot back a smart-ass remark.

"Damn you! Don't turn this around. Give me a god-forsaken answer!" My body shook as rage take ahold on me.

"Castiel, would you like me too write you an excused absence note for today?"

"Yes, forget what I just said." I perked up. My anger subsided and was replaced with a warm feeling.

"You'd abuse your power for me!" I burst into a smile. I checked the hall. It was as empty as ever.

I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a tight squeeze. He hugged me back.

I took a step back.

"I'll come back, once's school's over." I smiled at him widely. I hadn't smiled like this in a long time. I felt happy.

"You should smile more often." He gushed.

"Eh, I wouldn't count on it pal. Catch, ya later." I winked at him knowingly.

He winked back.

_I felt as if all the air had been knocked out of my lungs. My heart drummed in my chest. I nearly forgot about breathing all together. My cheeks felt dangerously warm. I gasped for air._

_These feelings are like parasites. Yet, somehow they sustain me. My disgust for him kept on washing away bit by bit. There still a long road ahead of us but, little by little he had moved his way up my list. I don't wanna not feel this way about him._

/

Amber had been lurking in the shadows once again. She popped out of nowhere at Nathaniel's side.

"Did, that just happen?" She asked her brother.

"Yes." I smiled at her triumphiantly.

"You infuriated him and you totally got out of answering him. You didn't blush or stutter. I'm utterly impressed. You made Castiel smile. I didn't know that he could. His never smiled, not even when he was with her. He seemed happy just now. Are you magic?"

"Thanks. I don't know about that. You know how Castiel feels about school." I shrugged it off.

"Are, you really gonna abuse your power for him? When, you never have not even for me." She narrowed her eyes at me and pouted. How typical.

"Well, yes I'm a man of my word. Mrs. Leore will never know the difference. You don't understand young one, you nearly got me in deep water."

"Oh, boo-hoo." She rolled her eyes.

Castiel strolled down the hall. He tossed me a single key on a key ring.

"What's this?"

"A key to my apartment. I'm entrusting you with it. Just, give it back to Lysander for me will ya?"

"You can count on me."

He winked at me and zipped out the door.

"He winked at you again and he trusts you. That certainly is a change."

"For the better. Well, I'm off. Catch you later."

"Don't come home too late." She smirked deviously.

"Amber!" I flushed a furious shade of red.

_For, reasons unknown I found her statement too be very tempting. I like the sound of it. The thoughts it produced were enticing to say the least. I realized I'd be all alone with Castiel and for once being in closed quarters with him didn't piss me off. I certainly wouldn't mind walking in on him in the shower. For a moment I was enclosed in my own little world._

_/_

I bolted to Lysander's staircase. As, to be expected Lysander was their daydreaming away. He had on victorian clothing like always.

"Lysander."

He snapped back to conciousness.

"Oh, hi Nathaniel." He half-smiled at me. He seemed to be in a good mood.

"Here's your key." I handed it to him.

He clipped it onto his belt. Then, he asked me "Did, Castiel ditch again?"

"Well, he was in a violent mood. So, I told him to go home early and I'd take care of the rest."

"That's probably for the best. When, his mad there's no talking any sense into him. Believe me, I've tried a countless amount of times. So, why'd he fly off the handle this time?"

"His convinced that I'm hiding something from him. He got furious."

"Well, are you? If, you don't mind me asking that is?" He raised an eyebrow at me questioningly.

I stiffled my laughter. He looked rather quizzical.

"I don't... Yes, I'll tell you if you promise not to breathe a word of this too him."

" I promise." He smirked a little. What did he know that I didn't or did Castiel just have me paranoid. Probably, the latter.

"Okay, the thing is I'm falling for Castiel. Its very confusing. His frustating and he gets under my skin yet somehow, his not who I thought he was. His all I can think about and I don't know what to do."

"So, what's the problem?Just go with it. You'll never know unless, you give it a shot. He won't force you into anything you don't want. Chances are his probably just as afraid as you are. His not as bad as everyone would like to think."

"You're right. I might as well. I won't give up."

" I see you've put Rosalaya's outfit to use." He added nonchalantly.

I laughed nervously "What do you mean?"

"Who do you think convinced him to ask you to help him study?" He answered my question with another question. He grinned.

_He obviously meant himself and he was implying that Castiel could feel the same way about me._

"Really!" I exclaimed. My face light up.

He then, winked at me as if we had just shared a secret. I was overcome by a ray of happiness.

I hugged Lysander due to my overwhelming gratituide. He patted my back awkwardly.

As, I skipped away. I said "You're the best!" My smile spread from ear to ear.

He said nothing in return but, simply wore a sly smirk. He knew all right that much I was certain of. Lysander was always right about these kind of things. When, it came to how Castiel felt he was always spot on.

He had this uncanny ability to read everyone. He'd been close friends with Castiel ever since the disasterous Deborah had left Castiel in shreds.

_And now the true Castiel seemed to be coming back ever so slowly. Castiel was still broken at best but, he would be back for good one day._

_As, Nathaniel thought this a pressing question came to mind. Could Castiel truly change? Another one followed. Do people ever change?_

_I think with a strong enough will they can but, will is power and Deborah essencially killed his will. She brutally stabbed in the heart over and over with a hungry, soul-less look in her eyes._

_If, Castiel knew what really happened that day would he believe me? No, It probably wouldn't matter. Maybe, leaving it alone is the better option. At least for now..._

_He'd just say that I was pinning the blame on her. He would never be able to see it any way other then, what she had told him. It doesn't matter that I was there and the fact that I've never told an unneccessary lie. He'd always see it through her eyes even if it was all a facade._

_There could be no clearing this up. No putting it behind us. Was there really any hope or was I just playing a fool?_

_The very Idea caused my stomach to clench. No, I had to stop thinking like that just because, I'm scared. There's no way I'm going to run and , I will fight on. I can lead you to the light. That is if you'll let me. _

_The dark and dreary thought clouded my mind for a mere moment. There was still hope on the horizon. I just have to stay and refuse to leave no matter what you do or say. Showing up is but, half the battle._

/


End file.
